The Great Disconnect

“May you live in interesting times,” is an old Chinese curse that many have mistaken as a proverb that has become popular over the last several years as seen in slews of twitter replies to bizarre “Florida Man” type news stories or countless Instagram and LinkedIn posts in Helvetica font copied and pasted across scenic landscapes.  This irony underscores the simple fact that we, as a society, are missing the point of so many things. There is a disconnect in the way we interface with the world causing the slightest, but ever present, dissonance in the back of our minds. This disconnect makes creating and learning in the modern world increasingly difficult for many. Like all good answers to deep, complex problems, its simplicity is mirrored by its complexity, which makes it fun to dive into. The disconnect we face is not a mind/body issue, but a material/immaterial one. 

Understanding the Problem

We have embraced the physical world as the “real” world and distanced ourselves from the reality of the immaterial, the abstract. Anything that cannot be touched, weighed, or measured is regarded as purely subjective and therefore not “real.” If this is beginning to sound like a philosophy lecture over postmodernism and the downfalls of moral relativism, don’t worry. I’m not going “there.” But just stop and think about the new world we have created. Most of us spend our days plugged into a virtual world creating, building, and learning in an abstract, ethereal environment (cyberspace…did I just date myself with that one?). For an already massive (and ever increasing) amount of people, this virtual world is becoming more “real” than the real world BUT the general consensus in the real world is that the immaterial is not “real.”

Bridging the Gap

I believe that the more time we spend creating and learning in the immaterial world, we must consciously spend time in the physical world, not just building and learning, but tracing the connection between the two. Purposely engaging and understanding the physical world allows us to better embrace the realities of the abstract world. Make no mistake about it, the immaterial, abstract world is very real. Love, honor, honesty, etc. these are all abstract ideas that guide our actions and move us forward in life. In our professional lives, most of the metaphors and analogies business coaches and online motivational gurus sell connect the immaterial and the material.

Pain (Don’t Hurt)

Let me illustrate. One of the most common pieces of advice these gurus and coaches give is to get outside your comfort zone in order to grow. This growth comes through discomfort and, in many cases, pain. Now, most people know and understand this concept in the same way that most people know having children changes the way you look at the world and everyone in it, whether or not they actually have a child. The reality is that only parents truly know how a child changes you down to the core. The non-parents among us are able to have a marginal understanding, sure, but that’s about it. The next time you are at a dinner party and one of the guests begins his or her monologue about pet ownership as the equivalent of parenthood, scan the room and notice the parents of real, actual human beings making eye contact with one another. Notice the slight eye rolls at their naivete and the nuanced traces of annoyance. Parents really know how a child changes you, while the rest “sort of” know. 

This same concept applies to the aforementioned “get outside your comfort zone to grow” advice. This principle is true at the physiological, emotional, intellectual, and professional level. Let’s start with the most basic application of this principle. If you want to get stronger, physically, what do you do? You lift weights, right? Well, yes and no. You lift weights heavy enough that cause micro-tears in your muscles. These tears cause muscle soreness. The body heals and repairs these micro-tears so that they become bigger, stronger, and less resistant to tearing. If you want those new, bigger, muscles to get even stronger and bigger, what do you do? Add more weight. 

As Above, So Below

If you have lived through this cycle of physical discomfort and growth, then you intimately know the torturous but rewarding cycle. Your body grows in proportion to the amount of weight you foist upon it. If you know it works first hand,  then it becomes far easier to embrace this principle in more complex and immaterial areas of your life.

It is not just your body that grows in direct proportion to the amount of weight foisted upon it. Your mind operates the same way. When you learn new skills, new neural pathways are created in your brain (neuroplasticity) that become better defined the more you perform the skill. When you learn a new skill, you screw up along the way. You screw up in ways that you could never have imagined. It’s uncomfortable. At times, painfull. But, with enough reps, everything falls into place and a nice, clean path is carved in your mind. Before you know it, maybe with a good night’s sleep behind you, you have learned (grown) a new skill.

The saying, “As above, so below” is paraphrased from a longer line in the Hermetic text Emerald Tablet  that reads, “That which is above is like to that which is below, and that which is below is like to that which is above.” The physical, biological truth regarding the relationship between distress, discomfort, and growth are mirrored in the immaterial. 

So, if you want to grow in your career, simply start doing, or learning, new things just outside your comfort zone. The “just outside your comfort zone” part is important. Let’s go back to getting bigger, strong muscles. If you can only lift 150 pounds, then putting 300 pounds on the bar and attempting to lift is pointless. You need a manageable weight that will allow your muscles to grow into lifting 300 pounds in the future. Be strategic in your growth. The same can be said for personal growth. If you want to grow as a person then adopt more responsibility for people and things outside of yourself.

Connecting the Dots

Those of us that spend our days plugged into a virtual world learning, building, and creating in this ethereal realm will benefit greatly by tracing the nexus point between our pursuits in the immaterial to the material. If you are an online creator, or builder,  but have never built so much as a bird house in the material world, I am not saying you are, in any possible way, less than someone who has. I am saying that you are missing the opportunity to feel, appreciate, and understand the things you create on a deeper level that makes the work so much more meaningful and rewarding. This fortifies your overall confidence in your work. It just makes things better all the way around. 

For some people, this may not seem appealing in the least, and that’s fine. I know many, many professionals who could care less about this “disconnect” and create stellar work. I am speaking to those of you searching for something more…searching for more depth and meaning in your day to day, for those feeling adrift and seeking something to anchor themselves, for those searching for a connection to a bigger picture, this is a path I recommend. If you are curious about the work we do here at Turnkey L&D, please check out the “Our Work” link at the top of the page. If you are interested in our services or would like to discuss the ideas set forth in this blog, please feel free to submit a contact form located at the top of the page or you can email me at Zeb@turnkeylearningdevelopment.com